Thursday, October 18, 2018

Don't Stop Believing

Once upon a lifetime, if you are lucky enough, you will experience a miracle. 

Ours came on November 30, 2015. 

He is perfect in every way.  There are not enough words to describe how grateful and in love I am.  In a world where terrible events flood our news feeds, these past few days have given me a glimpse of what a true miracle looks like and the joy it can bring to everyone it touches.

I never truly accepted that we were done having children.  I held out hope that one day I would beat that less than 1% chance of getting pregnant. The universe had better plans though and it's rocked me to my core with an abundance of emotions and pure happiness. 

Tom and I were approached by the birth mother this past June.  She asked if would be interested in adopting her unborn child.  After a lot of thought and consideration, we cautiously said yes.  There was always a chance she would change her mind, so we kept our secret to just a few family members and close friends.

We've spent the past five months growing more excited, yet not allowing ourselves to get too attached to the idea.  The birth mother allowed me to attend some of her doctor's appointments and I was able to hear his heartbeat for the first time in early November.  After one of the appointments, she told me that I could be present for the birth and that she would like it if I held him first after he was born. 

Around 4am on November 30, I got the text that the birth mom was at the hospital and her water had broken.  I arrived a little before 5am.  She was amazing.  She focused and worked so hard to deliver a healthy little baby.  At 11:56 am, as the birth mom was surrounded by women who cared more for her and this baby than she will ever understand, she delivered the most perfect baby boy I have ever seen. 

The doctor let me cut the cord and then he placed him in my arms.  I was able to hold him skin to skin.  Those were the most magical minutes of my life. With tears streaming down my face, I took him in.  I smelled his skin, I kissed his head, and I just tried to breathe.  He was here and he was in my arms. I had experienced a miracle I will never forget.

When they took Luke out of my arms, I immediately walked up to the birth mom who was being tended to by the doctor and hugged and kissed her.  She is the most selfless and giving woman that will ever be in my life.  She gave my family the most amazing gift anyone can give.

Life is so short.  So funny.  So incredibly sad at times.  But then, out of nowhere, there are these moments that we live for.  They are what life is truly about.  Breathe it in.  Count your blessings.

In my darkest moments, I could never see what was right around the corner.  Friends, Don't ever Stop Believing.